mintcar

If no one has faith in me, I suppose I only have myself to turn to, yeah? I have been very tired and aching lately; I can't control it ... I don't have any logic, it seems. I feel like I am an utter irrational at the core, sometimes. Like I am shifting back and forth between two realities, one which is true, and one which is irreconciliable chaos. Now, which one is the true one?

I apologize for the depressing stuff lately, but this blog is foremost for my own documentation. I know I've been very bitter, resentful, confused, sad, and so on and on lately. I am deeply sorry if I ever hurt you, while in this state. I am so sorry.

I can't sort it out. I feel so terrible and full of death. You know, the gaping hole.

Donutized. As usual.


On the other hand, I am being shown things through different eyes, and I think it is one of the best things to happen. Even though I am still tying strings. I said something very unusual without even knowing it yesterday, and I like that I did. I think it's from the part of my consciousness that's right, even though I'm still not sure what exactly it means ... there are many unresolved things, but they must be momentarily put aside. There is school to attend to (homework tonight!). Even though I want to speak ...

(Priorities? You help me sort them). Thank you.