mintcar

Useless

When someone calls you, and it's a terrible phone call, and it comes after much distance and time, all that denial and anger and resentment comes forth with a most violent force. Because it's not fucking about objectivity; it is about fucking emotions. And there is so little understanding past this intricate facade, a seething self-lie that you have to tell yourself everyday to pretend to be normal. It's not about your conscience or your duty. It's about your basic dignity as a person, and shit, thank YOU for telling me I can't handle my own shit. Thank YOU for having so little faith in me, because I certainly grew up having such a great role model, didn't I?

So when AM I going to become 'mature' and come to terms with my parent(s)?

By what standards do you appreciate them? If you feel they have done wrong, have they really done wrong, ... you know, because they are your parents, so they do things like that? You have guilt for feeling resentful, and that makes you more resentful. But, I think there needs to be some thought ... because, I am preternaturally more fucked up, in a way, and so, please, please be careful what you say, and be careful what you do. I will try, too.