mintcar

WHHHEwww.

Holidays are here. Have you spent enough money, have you augmented your debt? Jingle jingle jingle ... jingle.

I went soap crazy and bought six new soaps--two Maria Evoras (Spain), two Claus Portos (Portugal), and two generic shea butter soaps from anthropologie in tuberose and lavender. Mmm mm i love soap. I remember going to the store with my mom and i got one of each type of bar soap. I came home with ten soaps. I was nine years old; it was heaven. This led into my soap AND perfume habit as an adult (or 'adult'), and I think it will never end. If only I could curb such indulgences to save for those more meaningful things ... like carbonated water and silk flowers. I need to sort out my priorities. I miss my mom.

Actually, i need to reinvest in travel.

I am just really sad about leaving Ro for eighteen days. It's going to be like eighteen months. It's the first time I've gotten an empty feeling like this ... in the words of Haddaway:

what is love? baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me ... no more

I'm kind of sad that I've never spent my New Year's with a sweetie, and the past two years, I've actually sat at home doing absolutely nothing. BLAH. (Sour grapes) IT'S ALL ABOUT THE CHINESE NEW YEAR! Nyeh!

Speaking of consumerism and empty feelings ... that void of spending will never be fulfilled ... it's a gaping hole that is larger than the universe (that is, owning the universe will never satisfy such longing) ... and such covetous longing 'tis. I hate always wishing I had what someone else has. It's one of the more disgusting feelings in world, because it's accompanied by self-loathing. Listing ubiquitous sins, we look at murder, rape, theft, and lies ... envy is perhaps the most overlooked, because it's, mentally, all those things combined ... it doesn't destroy the other, it destroys yourself. And our culture of owning, having (not spending -- it's acquisition that is the drug) does more to perpetuate it than anything else. But ... how else are we to survive but in a market? At what point is manipulating, drawing out demand (marketing through instilling all-consuming want) exploitative?


Social influence ... plastic surgery ... a McMansion by the lake ... high-powered career with huge retirement package ... respect ...

Community involvement ... health ... architectural virtue ... excelling in your field ... respect ...


Fuck, I hate getting into this mind frame after I watch TV. And I get like this after everytime I watch TV (even the News, even BET -- my channel!); maybe I should stick to animal planet.

NUMBER ONE RESOLUTION OVER THE NEW YEAR (a reminder) : EXERCISE THREE TIMES A WEEK -- 1 HR. :-D
(Note, that a resolution needs to be a tangible thing. I'm gonna be resolute to be kinder, too, but how do you qualitatively measure your progress in that?) I need to boost my immune system, because my 21 year old aching body is already heading down hill!!! Fo sho!


Ro, I really wanna go to the ballet. But stop staring at their packages, you fruit! Mmmm ... fruit.