mintcar

i'm really pessimistic, and i scold myself a lot. i have a grim outlook for my future and a regretfulness for my past. i'm afraid of tiny things. i get really nervous and awkward around people. i vividly relate to lonely characters, mental disorder, don't really like to socialize extensively, and read Thus Spoke Zarathustra too much. i think this world is shitty, despite redeeming individuals, and i feel like i won't make a big difference. i think people here are just getting shallower and shallower, are big phonies, escape into mindless worlds to avoid addressing difficult matters, and are out to hurt me. i think i'm too vulnerable to my own negative thinking. i disparage myself way too much, but i'm weak to stop it. i think i think about myself too much. i think i need to be put in some sort of sanitized chamber and wear a big pillow suit so i don't get bruises from bumping into pillow walls. i think i need sunshine, and go back to play time.

DAMN YOU my superego! DAMN YOU world! and history!