mintcar

Listening to DJ Krush + Toshinori Kondo : MU-GETSU. Puts me in a dark, smoke-filled room. Everyone is wearing black, boozy, and has strange fantasies.

Whoa. New Blogspot site! Very disorienting right now.

Don't you love it that during your VERY VERY VERY LAST LAST LAST semester of undergraduate education, you will do anything to NOT DO ANY WORK? No matter how much time you have, and no matter how much you love the things you are learning in class, all you want to do is read books without having to write papers, make things without having to think about how, have a few Newcastles at Raleigh's, go dancing in the City, ponder past Post-Modernism and struggle with your own purposelessness in life, and write in blogs without having to think about the stuff you should be studying for at this very moment! But, most of all ... you just want to spend time with the people you feel like you aren't going to see in a long time.

That's how I feel. I want desperately to remember every second, write it down, save in jpeg, stuff my belly with memories, but I've recognized the futility ... tried to accept the bits and scraps I can keep inside me. It seems like I've cried my tears in advance, and in a dry state, I want to relish these fleeting moments. (And aren't they fleeting? Fifteen days ... ?) I'm grasping hard a gorgeous mist, and the wind is rushing towards me.

I mean, it's irrational to think that I'll lose touch with my dearest friends, but when will it ever be like this again? I feel more and more like a floater, with loose ties, a kite with a very, very long string. But, I am wondering ... who is holding onto me?

Why are things more beautiful when you know they are going away, and you don't know when or if you will ever see them again?