mental notes

this moment:

bright white nail polish

orange juice from almondine

reading novels on iphone (not an ipad!). i've been binging on toni morrison, but bookworming is not so good like this because it means no sleeping. feeling obligated to see everyone before i leave, but i am in the mode of "quietly slipping away," and un-communicativeness except when crucial. i am liking books more than people. (always have?? not sure). most likely it is just distancing myself from the pain of missing loved ones while i am away -- a task very practiced and efficient and prudent around here.

anticipating snow, skiing (depending on my knees), eating with loved ones, generally lolling and bleeding myself of the speed i have grown to love, but am still ambivalent towards. i am afraid of becoming slow (as in dull) and boredom. i am also afraid of falling into old patterns and that things, people, or environments might encourage falling, which i will try my darnedest to prevent by seeing things very new and changed. (which is true!) staying fresh = raison d'etre.

also, travelling. i have no idea what i have in store here, but it will be. working on personal works, reassessing direction and resources, etc etc. there are a lot of things to do, but don't forget that the reason i am moving is for me and my health.