mintcar

Here goes Paul:

"Someone commented on latent racism against Asians and it got me to writing this pointless vitriol recounting all the experiences I've had with racism in the past, which, thankfully has only been a handful of times. (I wonder how worse off I'd be if I had been confronted with something extreme. Violent spirit...) Not that I think about my identity 24-7. I've never felt a need to adopt an identity (and I don't really identify with groups, anyway. APA, ABA? I couldn't care less). But still, ironically, it's usually the people that happen to belong to the majority that impose racialized thought on the rest of us, hiding behind feel-good legislation (feel-good for the ignorant middling class) like Prop 21, Prop 187. Bullshit about "oh, I'm not racist, but if only black people worked harder in school..." That's not racism there? What about complaining about "underrepresented minority" fellow high school students who have the audacity to think about college but might not have the supposed mental goods. What? You think you're the shit, white girl? Half you fuckers at Woodcreek or some other mediocre surburban white-bread high school would never get into UC and you think you're the shit. And when we (minorities) agitate, sometimes for good reason (like that swastika-branding motherfucker on campus that other day?), we're blowing things out of proportion? Double standards. 2000-motherfucking-3 and shit still hasn't changed. Like all this shit that's gone down on the MCB mailing list about some comment about "female Asian roommate preferred." It's not Asian people making the implication that white girls are snobby bitches or black girls are loud and abrasive. It's white people eager to seek out a tenuous example of a double standard. Quick example by a "twhite": "if someone said they wanted preferably a white roommate i would think that would be extremely racist. so what's the difference if an asian person says it? people like you make people racist. after seeing several of these 'looking for an asian roommate' emails my opinion of asian people has definitely changed." What. The. Fuck? The same enlightened motherfucker who saw fit to sign off with a knock against "chinks."

"Who's imposing racialized thought?

"It's amazing how often cheap generalization is used as a crutch. Am I being hypocritical? Honest to dog, I'm not clinging to a general, sweeping opinion of white people, as convenient as it might be. It's not useful to me. For understanding? What understanding? It's a blatant cop-out. I'd rather treat things on an interminable case-by-case basis. Fuck convenience. I'd rather feel like shit about how fucking dismal the world overall is than blame it on X group or Y whatever. At least I'm not lying to myself, then. Why you gotta feel guilty? Fucking bullshit.

"So...

"There've been times in my life when I didn't stand up for myself. Cowed, timid, all that shit. Why? For the last three years, I've been thinking that I won't put up with that garbage at all. Zero tolerance. Think differently when I impose my first on your to-be-shattered face. But, I know it's self-destructive to try to compensate for the past. I need to wipe clean the past.

"But that's not possible."

(excerpted from his weblog)

concluding remarks: paul and i went to the same high school; if you haven't met him, he is a very nice person. ^_^