July 7, 2011

dear diary, i broke down tonight, thinking of everything i lost. i lost my energy. i lost closeness to my dearest friends. i lost the shape of my future. i lost my dreams. i am a non-contributing member of society; practically worthless, a waste - for all that effort put into raising me, in what would be my peak years, i am useless. i will never work full time again. i have no energy to support others, no energy to support myself. i might never have my own family. i lost a future. all my goals are gone, all my dreams are dead.

my family is alive. my friends are alive. i am young. there are drugs. i have my limbs, voice, sight. there is art. there is nature. there is loneliness, solitude. nothing more. dying. is-ing, breathing.

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